Faithfulness Bear Fruits

Revolution Conference (June 4th-6th)
Woah. It’s been *insert something indescribable* for the past few days. It wasn’t just any altar call, it wasn’t just another emotional moment but really, it was God showing up. I’ve been blessed beyond words : with the most wonderful Church members, imperfect (because we’re all humans ma hor?) leaders who mean the best for me (I couldn’t ask for anything better. =) ) and above all, the love of my Lord Jesus.

Before I stood up to answer to the altar call initiated by Pr. Sam, I felt my conscience (there’s no good conscience without the Holy Spirit) say to me,

“Is this gonna be just like those altar call?”
“Where you feel an emotional encounter with God which dies off after a few days?”
“Will you still stand up and kneel before God if your mum was beside you?”

And I think, yes. I would. Just as Boon Wei has said, there’s nothing bigger than my God. Nothing.

While I was there, questions started pouring in again.

“If you really still be kneeling here if your classmates were before you?”
“Will you still continue to sit in class and tolerate your classmates or turn around to tell them that what they are doing is displeasing in the eyes of God?”
“Are you going to be driven by the consequences you face? Or rather, driven just because you love God and them so much?”
“How big is your God? Bigger than your insecurities?”
“Are you going to live ‘faithful’ to God and yet, keep those habits?”

I had enough of living in fear. And that Friday, was really the day I gave my life to Jesus. My life just wasn’t mine anymore.

This wasn’t just the usual ‘touch n go’ conference. It was one where I believe, the whole Church just had one thought, one purpose (1 Corinthians 1:10) and that is to live a life not by ourselves but by God. To do something radical not by our own strength and wisdom but with God’s Spirit (Zechariah 4:6).

Sunday (7th June)
Elder Kien Yiak was sharing this message from the passage of 2 Samuel 13. It was about how Amnon, son of King David, forced his blood sister, Tamar to bed with him. He seek the advice of his friend Jonadab which suggested for Amnon to lie in bed sick while he(Amnon) ate of of Tamor’s hand. Now here are a few facts that will get you scratching your head (just like how I did).

Amnon’s name means ‘faithful’
Jonadab’s name means ‘wise’

Firstly, Amnon didn’t deal with this lustful desire of his. And in time, his faithfulness turned into tiredness. If we don’t deal with the issues in our life, we become tired and begin to dwell in the pursuits/desires of the flesh. Just like how Amnon, didn’t deal with this issue in his life.

Amnon, instead of going to King David for advice, went to Jonadab for advice. Just like how we seek men’s wisdom (yes now we know why he’s named ‘wise’), instead of God. Why? Because we want to hear the answers we want to hear. Elder told us that whoever you open up your life to has a big impact on you. Yes because of the advice they may give you but also because of the very fact that you chose to open up(entrust) that person with whatsoever.

You know sometimes, I get tired so easily. Not because I’ve ran 84km, did any bungee-jumping or had an average of 135 minutes of sleep a day. But simply because I never deal with that part of my life. And whenever I think about ‘getting out of it’, I feel so ‘tired’ because I am thinking about how I would overcome it with my strength. Then Elder went on saying, “You think you can manage your sins? You think you can allow that one part of your life to be the way it is? But fact is, that area of your life will continue to come back and haunt you.”

And that’s so true. I realized that I’ve always had this issue that I’ve never dealt with for 12 years. And there are days where I don’t ‘do this thing’(no it’s nothing to do with porn) and think that I’ve finally overcame it. But really, I haven’t dealt with it yet! I may have forgotten it but I didn’t go through the process of getting rid of it. For example, you can dream about exercise. But nothing really happens until you actually do it. There’s more beyond listening to the message. There’s applying it. Let’s not look at other people’s problems anymore. But really at ourselves.

What we fail to deal with will overthrow us in life sooner or later. Example, after the exams, you might feel the sense of urgency and zeal to study and to think of it, these are pure emotions. Sooner or later, we’ll slack back into laziness. Because we cannot rely on emotions. Let’s offer ourselves to God. Your thoughts, our emotions, our body. Everything.

Romans 12:1-3
1 Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God—this is your spiritual act of worship. 2 Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.

3 For by the grace given me I say to every one of you: Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the measure of faith God has given you.

It’s an irony how King David got angry when he found out about Amnon and Tamar but he never did anything about it. He just stayed angry. He did not deal with the things closest to his heart (family). And many times, we don’t deal with things that are close to our hearts. I believe that when there’s a real God, there’s also a real devil. So, yeah I’m sure you get what I mean. =)

I really felt God speak directly to me on Sunday and I don’t wanna rely on me anymore. Because I’m just all the strength I have. But today, I wanna live and commit everything to the Lord. I know it won’t be easy, (if it is it won’t be called a challenge)I know that the way to eternity is narrow but let’s do it.

Monday (8th June)
Today in prayer meeting, I shared about what Deacon David shared during the breakout session. About how it is biblical to be radical. Six people turned up for prayer and I was just reminded by what Pastor Andy said. If 100 people turned up, it would have been a testimonial. But there are those days when you’re alone or with one or two other people and this is when God wants to know if we’ll still go on and I believe that this, is then really a testimonial. We praise God for quantity. We praise God even more for quality because where there is quality, there is quantity (in time).

I’ve never been so calm while sharing and I really thank God for that because pastor has been declaring boldness over my life. I felt that the people’s heart just stirred even as God spoke through me and that truly awesome. Prayer meeting went on till 8.10am and yes classes have started. When I went back to class, my Legal Studies lecturer, Mr David was there already. I felt, somehow, that it was God’s will that I was late.

Mr David, “Ann Ee? Where were you?”

Me, *whispering to myself* “Prayer meeting..”

Him, “Pre.. What?”

Me, “Prayer meeting.” ><

Him, “What? Can you speak louder?” YES I WAS SO SCARED.

Me, “Prayer meeting!” (I think it came out in a squeak or something)

Him, “Oh there’s prayer meeting? Wow. Where?”

And wow he sounded like he wants to come. And he didn’t scold me for coming in late! And all my results came in today and I was again amazed by God. My results were better than expected and I was really encouraged by my teachers. My Accounts teacher told me that she tried her best to give me as many marks as possible and this nearly moved me to tears because she used to scold the class everyday. My English teacher wrote on my paper, “Incomplete but well written” and I honestly thought that I did reaaaalllly badly and she told me not to be discouraged. And lol my Math teacher hahaha. He so funny la. “Ann Ee! What happened?” Eek yeah I need to work harder! My results weren’t good but really, God came again.

God has answered two very personal prayers of mine today! I wasn’t expecting it at all and I really wanna give all the glory to God for it.

Currently, the CF has a guitar and two singers during worship. During my break, I was at ECA (Student Centre) with Daniel Shin and suddenly, I just asked him whether he played the drums. AND COME TO THINK OF IT. We DO have a drum set sitting in Darren Lau’s house. So, there will be drums this week in CF! And then Joshua Song suddenly remembered that there’s a piano at The Hub and tomorrow, he’ll be getting permission through JK from Elder if we can borrow it for CF! Wow this has never happened before.

Almost 10 of my classmates and 2 of my lecturers are coming for CF this week! This is just crazy cause it’s normally just 3 of us and wow. Also, Albert Ling will be sharing in prayer meeting this Wednesday and Ronson next Wednesday! Praise the Lord! Pastor Andy will be speaking in CF this Friday as well!!

Shaun and I have finally found a way to publicize the CF! In student portal, they have all the students email addresses there so nyahaha. =D

Although there are so much to rejoice about now, I’m reminded of what Bill Clinton said years ago. In time of peace, prepare for war. Because in these times, the devil will want to drag everything down. So yeah let’s put on the armor of Christ and stand firm!

Rejoice!

HOLIDAY WOOOHOOO. Yes I just finished my mid-term examination a week ago and now.. I have two weeks of holiday! Time to resolute!

I realised (yes through personal experience and observation) that sometimes, when we go through tough situations, we tend to complain and ask the usual, “God! I’ve been so good to you. Why do bad things happen to me? Why?”

Very recently, I myself asked the same question and it’s very funny la. I’m just reminded that..

WHO SAID CHALLENGES WERE BAD + EVIL + NOT GOOD FOR YOU? HUH? HUH?! Lol.

Hmm yes that was a good smack for me. Veli good. Echoing the Tailor (which is God) from The Tailor Made Man play from ACTS Church, “Joseph. Do not confuse comfort and goodness.”

And it’s so true. We’ve never been through pain and discomfort that whenever we go through it, we whine and fuss and buzz and whatnot. I believe very much that God allows us to go through many things and He knows what’s best for us. If you (speaking in general) were to deny that He knows best, I suppose you know better? I suppose you want run your own life, bump into the things you want to bump into and go through things you want to go through? Sure life will be “fantastic” for you if you were the author of it all but ever heard of the butterfly effect? If you change one thing, it’s gonna lead to a thousand things. Just like how the flapping of a single butterfly’s wings is an effect of a deadly tornado.

So, hang in there! =) It is an honour that God allows us to go through things we go through. (it’s how you go through it that makes a difference) Because the only reason why it is even happening to you is because He KNOWS you can take it. Because He’s ever ready to equip you.

James 1:2-4
2 Dear brothers and sisters, when troubles come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy. 3 For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. 4 So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be perfect and complete, needing nothing.

A quote from Brandon Vetter’s blog. Do google him up because he’s a good read.

Brandon Vetter
Athletes understand this. We do not become physically fit through exercises that do not have us sweating and pushing us beyond our limits. We do not lose weight by doing the same things we’ve always done. It involves a lot of sweat, lifestyle changes, endurance and discipline. We are designed to grow through struggle and challenge and our faith is no different.

God’s only a call away.

Revival is Here

Yes hahaha I’ve been hibernating. There are various reasons but who cares!! I are here. =D

I’ve got a confession to make.

When I first entered my class, I said to God, “God.. How is it gonna happen? It looks so impossible.”

But then I told myself, when I was Form 1-3.. Ten people (including myself) in my class accepted Christ. Why not, my current class right?

And now, it’s happening.

everyone’s name will be written with initials for privacy purposes

RP was sharing with me earlier this year that he used to smoke and almost got into a gang fight. Towards the end of last year, he felt God prompting him to stop and he did. Praise the Lord!! Even so, he didn’t constantly read his Bible and etc etc.

As some of you may know, I was the sesat (lost) person that joined my course 2 weeks late. On the 3rd week, I was assigned to partner with RP for a short English assignment and it was good because it allowed me to get to know a lil’ more of him. A few days after that, we sat together in class and I found out that he was a Christian!! Not only that but he was looking for a Church to attend. So, I invited him to my Church. =) Then, we both shared about how we both came to know Christ and various other testimonials.

Then he said this, “I think God really sent you to bring me back to Him. I haven’t been close to Him lately.”

Wow. During our last SAM holiday, his friend got possessed by a demon and loads of things happened. To cut the long story short, the demon left his friend and started following him (not possessing. just following). Two of his other friends were with him when this happened and when they went to the Church to ask the pastor to cast the demon out, one of his friends accepted Christ as his personal Saviour! Praise the Lord!! After this incident, RP has made a point to attend Church regularly. Woooot.

RN has been attending prayer meetings regularly and she’s been calling her friends to join us for prayer as well!! It’s a pleasure that I get to read her journal as she shares her personal problems with me. It’s a joy to just grow and build with a fellow sister-in-Christ. She has recently managed to conquer and overcome her obstacles by the grace of God.

NH and PS have been attending CF regularly and NH is serving in the worship team!! Recently, PS decided to serve in the worship team as well and wow. They’ve been visiting my Church on and off and NH has decided to attend HOMEs regularly after last week. She’ll be inviting her other friends as well. Besides that, they’ve both decided to put in more effort to wake up earlier to come to prayer meetings!! =D

I also thank God for these two because now, I get to share freely with the both of them and vice versa. It’s good because we get to check on one another to see if we’re on the right track or not. God is good.

DY accepted Jesus into his life when he was 5. He attends Church with his mum but has never really been all out for God. He swears and complains and sighs A LOT.

A few weeks back, I asked him, “What so constructive about swearing and your sigh-ing?”

And from that day onwards, I haven’t heard him swear. Praise the Lord!! DY does not take Legal Studies (whereas I do) so last week, we had a test on Wednesday. He had nothing to do while the test was going on so I asked him if he wanted to listen to sermons recorded on my phone. He said yes. =D When the test was over, he said, “Hey.. Those sermons.. They were quite good.”

The next day, right before Legal Studies, he asked me, “You have some more sermons with you?”

Wow. God is good. And he’ll be following me to Church this week!!

IK is a Buddhist girl from my class and she wears like those crystal thingies around her neck and hand and God knows where else. While I was talking to DY about Church transport and stuff, she asked me, “You guys go to Church ar?”

Me, “Yeap.”

IK, “You guys are Christian ar?”

Me, “Yeap haha. Why?”

IK, “Oh me too!! I accepted Christ 2 weeks ago.”

Wow. I found out that RP shared the Gospel with her. I invited her to Church and her reply delighted me even more. She said, “I can’t come soon. I’m very committed to my Church. But I’ll find time!!”

It’s so nice to know that she wants to stay committed to where she is.

KR is a free-thinker and he can’t exactly speak Chinese but one day, during LAN class, he tried to. He said to DL (in Chinese), “I want to go see Church” (yes it’s broken Chinese)

DL, “Go Church to see what?”

KR, “To see Jesus!!”

DL, “See Jesus for what?”

KR, “See whether He’s nice to look at or not” (all the above in Chinese)

And before I continue.. I am NOT close to this guy AT ALL. And I wasn’t part of the conversation. Then he said, “Hey Ann Ee!! Tell me something about Jesus.”

Me, *stares (yes it was very rude but I couldn’t help it) at him for a good 5 seconds* “Uh.. What do you want to know?”

KR, “Exactly!! I don’t know anything so tell me something”

Me, “Uh..” I was too lost for words to say anything. >< Because sometimes, it’s so hard to talk about Jesus to anyone but this guy is like asking me to tell him about Jesus!! And the most awesome thing happened after that. KR, “Never mind. I’ll follow you to Church this Sunday.”

God’s favour was/is/will be really raining down on my class.

AW is like lol. Honestly, she amazes me with how she can take 10 hours to put makeup on her face and come to class without completing any of her work.

Now, she’s sensed the urgency to really buck up and start studying. I kinda understand how she feels because I’ve been there at one point of my life. It’s like you know you’ve been lazy and now, you just want to start studying but you’re hopeless because you do not know where to start. When I was at that low point, it was really God that helped me up and now, I want to help her up.

Today, I gave her my Legal Studies notes and I see that God is making a way for me to grow with her and help her even in her walk. Maybe, I could learn something from her too!! Praise God for her humility to ask for help.

There’s JL who’s like a small boy. He’s Catholic and he’s very willing to listen about the Word of God. Recently, he’s been asking me a lot of questions about the Bible (because he doesn’t bother reading his) and how I came to know Jesus. I see a door open before me!!

I’ve known SJ since I was 10 and now, God has placed her close to me in class. It’s been really good because she’s extremely open to whatever I have to say about Christ. I’m so amazed la.

Last week during our break before the Legal Studies test, PS was asking me where is a quiet place to study. So I said, “Let’s go to Positive Cafe.” =D

PS, “Where’s that?”

Me, “Next to 7 Eleven.”

PS, *looking confused* “Uh okay..”

Honestly, I was quiet anxious because I was afraid that she would be freaked out or something by the praise & worship songs playing in the background. Silly me. THEN, Pr. Andy walked in!! And I did this on purpose lol.

Me, “Hi PASTOR!!”

PS stared at Pr. Andy and she said to me, “That’s a pastor?! Oh my goodness doesn’t look like one wei.”

Me, “Haha that’s cause people’s perception of pastors are old and boring.”

PS, “Yeah that’s actually quiet true. Where’s your Church anyway?”

Me, “At Summit. Wanna visit one day?” =)

PS, “Yeah sure. I’ll come with WW.”

Woooooooooooooot.

Praise to the Lord who is higher than high. It is only God that all these are possible. I know DY is reading this. HAHAHA hi!

psst. I was supposed to post this during 24th of April but I think I clicked on ’save draft’ instead of publish. Here it is!

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God is soooooooooooooo good.

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Of Choices and CNY

Okay okay. Why I took SAM. As said in the previous post, I had 4 choices. Form 6 ( STPM ), ‘A’ Level’s, ICPU and Australian Year 12 ( SAM or AUSMAT ).

I’m sure some of you humans know I loveeeee Psychology and how I detest the idea of having my performance evaluated based on a few sheets of paper ( tests, exams ).

Mari kita mula.

Form 6 ( STPM )
Duration - 2 Years. It will take up too much of my precious time. No thank you. =)
Difficulty – High. Not worth the difficulty and duration.
Standard school holiday - I CAN ATTEND CF CAMP AND EVERYTHING ELSE. WEEE.
Pricing – Yes it’s the cheapest course ever. Unless you get a scholarship for some Pre-U.

CAL ( Cambridge ‘A’ Level’s )
Duration – 1 ½ Years. A waste of time.
100% External Examination ( final exam ) - EWWWWWWWW.
Almost half the friends I know are taking this – Sorry but I like meeting new people. Haha.
Pricing - RM24000-30000 Ouch.

ICPU ( International Canadian Pre-University )
Duration – 1 Year. Short.
70% Internal Assessment ( coursework etc. ) and 30% External Examination – I like. But I heard they give sooooo much assignments it actually can keeeel you.
Minimum of 6 Pre-U subjects ( per term ) – Can mati wei.
Pricing – RM21000-23000

SAM ( South Australian Matriculation )
Duration – 1 Year. Short.
50% Internal Assessment and 50% External Examination – Well balanced out.
They offer Psychology as one of the subjects - WEEEEEEEEEEEE.
Pricing - RM19000-20000

Hmmm yeap. So now you know why I chose what I chose. Good good.

Chinese New Year
Yay. I went back to my hometown on a Sunday morning and came back the next day. Sadly, I couldn’t stay too long at my aunt’s place. Why? I currently don’t have a maid and I have 3 dogs. They need to be fed so.. Yeah. Oh well.

During this new year, we brought Silver ( yes the tiny Silky Terrier ) back to my aunt’s place!! Haha she was surprisingly obedient. Which is extremely rare la.

I would like to say that Chinese New Year isn’t about the Ang Paos ( red packets. yes yes. the one with money inside ) and the food. It is about family. People ( especially teens ) nowadays only care about the ang pao and food. If they happen to receive less than expected, their CNY will be deemed as boring/waste of time. This is actually very sad you know?

So, my sister and I planned to bring the Uno Stacko back during this festive season. =) It was simple hilarious la. Playing Uno Stacko with the adults is so…. Entertaining. I had fun. And based on the expressions on my aunt’s and uncle’s faces, I’m sure they did too.

Have a blessed new year people.

Resolutions
Oh yeaaah. I created a whole list of resolutions quite some time ago. I’ll post them up next time. Now, I have added two more. =D

-Ignoring that fella for the next 2 weeks.
-Writing a letter in Chinese ( with Joshua’s help since my Chinese is soooo bad ) for my grandfather.

Ann Ee

Edit : Yes, I know my post was rather explosive. Deleted that section!! =)

College Life

What? Ann Ee isn’t teaching?  She lied to us?

Lol.

No, I am still going to teach after I finish my education. Anyway, I enrolled for Taylor’s College this Monday. Yes I know I’m extremely late. Two weeks late to be exact. Okay let’s see how in the world all these happened.

For the past few weeks, I’ve been praying to God about my education. If you didn’t know, I can be very clueless when it comes to all these. So, on Sunday, I was browsing around the official website of University of Auckland. The few requirements to take the course I want ( Bachelor of Education. Major in English. TESSOL ) were either STPM, ‘A’ Level’s, ICPU or Australian Year 12. What I did not know was that Australian Year 12 was equivalent to SAM.

Until Navin sms-ed me.

Ahhhhhhhhh. I was like,” Huh? @.@ Whaaaat?”

Monday ( 19th January 2009 )
SO YEAH. I was praying and I told God, “You ar. Terlampau surprising wei. ><”

I went to the college and spoke to the counselor the next day. In Taylor’s, it is possible to sign up within 2 weeks from the orientation. However, I was one day late. Uh-huh. I was quite anxious and nervous and everything la. This was roughly how a part of my conversation with the counselor went.

Him, “So, when can you start? If you didn’t know, you’re already very left behind.”

Me, “Is it okay if I start on Wednesday?” ( I’ve already made plans with a few people on Tuesday so yeah. =| )

Him, “No no. If possible, I want you to start today. Right after we talk.”

Me, “O__O Uh.. I’m sending my sister off in the airport so that won’t be possible. I’ll start on Tuesday instead?” ( yes canceled my plans for Tuesday )

Him, *gave me a look with this extremely long pause* “Okay.”

Start immediately after we talk? No way man. My goodness. Till now, I haven’t even fully digested the fact that I just entered college. Maaaan.

Tuesday ( 20th January 2009 )
Woke up and got ready for college. I think I sms-ed at least 6 people to ask them what I should bring, where I should go, what do I need. YES. I WAS ANXIOUS OKAY.

And it so happens that all my classes are on the highest floor of the building. So, Angeline escorted ( lol ) me to my class and ta-da. I don’t know a single soul in my class. Okay maybe not ‘not a single soul’ la but there were only 2 people I recognized from my Primary School but I was never close to them.

So, I took my seat in the third row and turned around to introduce myself to two girls. Man, I was so nervous I spoke sooooo softly they barely heard me. Embarrassing-nye. Then, my Economics lecturer walked it. I went to her and asked her,

“Teacher, I’m new in this class. Do I have to give you my name or something?”

She, “New? Why did you register so late? Why didn’t you register earlier? Are you SURE you are in the right class? P4? No?” ( she has an extremely loud voice so uh yeah. not cool. I could feel my ears turning red )

Gah. What a bad start for my first day. I didn’t really enjoy my first day and I was abnormally quiet. But in a way, that’s a good thing because I concentrated in class and it was awesome.

Apparently, I found out that there’s a bunch of Christians in my class. Some of them are even committees of their past CFs. Oh and oddly enough, my class has tons of Sarawak-ians.

Wednesday – Friday ( 21st – 23rd January 2009 )
Hmm yes I am lazy to write about each day so here’s a summary.

As the days go by, I met a lot more people in my class and they’re quite friendly people. The youngest person in my class is 16 ( I felt stupid the moment I found out ) and the oldest is 20. It seems like they’re the closest to each other in class. Haha. xD

My class ( P4 ) punya package is a lil weird. Everyone takes Accounts and they can choose to either not take Psychology, Mathematics, Legal Studies or Economics. I, on the other hand, did not take Accounts but all the other four subjects. ( and English which is compulsory ) So, I’m the only person not taking Accounts in my class la. I found out that my neighbor was previously in my class ( before I came ) and they shifted him to P3 because he doesn’t take Accounts either. >< My classmates said they’ll most probably change me to that class too.

Everything in my Student Portal disappeared!! ( an online database where our lecturers post notes, assignments, coursework information and etc ) o.o I waited for a day, checked it again and still, nothing. So, I went to see my Program Director. She checked my account for me and.. -.- I’m supposedly in P3. I was kinda pissed actually because the college didn’t inform me that they switched me to another class. Moreover, the collaborative task for Legal Studies and the investigative study for English has already started. I even have a partner for Legal Studies so naturally, it would be inconvenient for me to switch class.

So, I dropped Economics!! And I took Accounts instead. Me no likey my Economics teacher. So it was a relief ( sort of ) that I dropped that subject. And Accounts is interesting okay. No wonder Pei Yi loves it so much. So yeap. I get to remain in my class. Woooot.

Attended Taylor’s CF!! Man it’s awesome to go back to CF and serve once again. When I entered Lecture Hall 7 ( that’s where CF was held ), I realized that they only had a guitar for worship. Subsequently, I thought about Ms. Tan’s ( oh wait Mrs. Chong’s ) question in last year’s CF Camp booklet.

Will you still worship God without the good sound system and music?

Yes. I want to be passionate for the one person I live for. Though many of my old schoolmates don’t attend CF for their various reasons, I want to do it because people are in need of a God that loves them. They’re in need of a life that has a purpose and a life that actually makes sense.

Ann Ee

Grandmama’s Story

Joel Tong requested for a grandmama’s story of mine. Hmmmm. I shall blog about useless things that I did today. I know it’s unlike me but.. Oh well. xD

Today.. I woke up at 1.30pm ONE THIRTY PM. CAN YOU BELIEVE IT? I just wasted 4 precious hours!! I could have finished at least half a book by then. Goodness. Ching Ann Ee, you need to set your alarm. I’m dead serious. You better set it.

Okay ignore that.

Last night, I was searching all over my room for all the dictionaries we’ve ever had and yippee. I came across at least five. So, I challenged myself to finish one of it!! ( not in one day mind you ) Yeah you probably think I’m mad or something but the dictionary is quite easy and tiny one la. Serious. Can finish in one month.

Why in the world am I doing this?

I’m going to be teaching English in.. Five more years and I doubt my English is “England” enough to be taught to anyone. Oh and that reminds me of this conversation I had with Mr Jacob over lunch. psst. He’s my English teacher

Me, “Teacher, ENGLISH. CAN YOU BELIEVE IT? I mean okay okay. My English is not bad but not good enough..”

Mr J, *puts his hand on my left shoulder* “I should know that.”

He gave me his oh-so-famous grin, paused for about three seconds and burst out laughing.

DDDDDDDDDDDDD:

Now I’m more than ever determined to improve this English of mine.

Oh my goodness. This is the most pointless post I’ve ever written. JOY TO THE WORLD JOEL. JOY.

Ann Ee

Read Your Own Blog

Today, I challenge whoever you are to re-read everything that you’ve ever wrote in your blog. Trust me, it’s constructive. You may never know when you will learn something from yourself.

I’m going to do that myself now. =)

Ann Ee

He Leads

Wednesday ( 7th January 2009 )
Ahh the awesome-ness. Let’s see.. I went to school on Wednesday to apply for temporary teaching and to give Jeremy my Form 4 text books and revision books.

I had this huge grin plastered on my face the whole time I was in school. I felt like a high school-er again!! And the joy of seeing all the Form 4s so frustrated over the classes they were placed in was so overwhelming. YES. I was indeed happy that they were frustrated. Not because I’m some evil witch or what la. But solely because God places people out of their comfort zone when He knows they are ready. =)

I feel so blessed. Truly. When I see how happy my juniors are when they see me, I feel like.. Ahh. Blissful-nye.

Also, the sight of school uniforms. Lol I feel like wearing it again. The days when we were standardize and not so materialistic. The days we didn’t need to think of what to wear. =)

Then, I zoomed my way to 5 Gamma. My old class!! Hasn’t changed much. So many familiar faces haha. Yeap. Passed my books to Jeremy and yeah I feel so glad that he’ll be using those books for the greater good. And he looked so happy when I passed him the books. Haha I just couldn’t stop smiling la k.

Hugged quite a number of my juniors. Yeap. Then, proceeded to the staff room. Oh my goodness. The feeling of holding my hand phone while talking to the teachers feels so weird!! ( especially when I was talking to Pn. Sherily ) So, before I went to meet Pn. Rose Chai, I had an awesome time talking to Pn, Christina, Pn. Rosemary and Pn. Sherily. I asked all of them why they chose to teach and really, God works through these woman of God.

After about 30-40 minutes sitting in the staff room, ( yeah I was already getting used to the air-conditioned room LOL *hint* ) Mr Jacob walked in and he passed by Pn Christina and I. ( I was sitting next to her by the way )

Me, “Hi MJ!!”

Him, *turns around* “Oh hi..” O___O

Hahahahaha. You should have seen the expression on his face.

Him, “Oh my goodness me and I thought you were one of the teachers.”

Pn Christina, “Oh she’s hoping to be.” =)

I decided that I better get going and catch Pn Rose Chai before she leaves. When I was still studying in SU, I would freely walk in and out of the office whenever I had to. But on Wednesday, when I walked in the office, the office lady stopped me. She asked me tons of questions and this was probably the point where I really felt that I have left school already.

In Malay, “Who are you?” , “Where are you from?” , “Why are you here?” , “Who do you want to see?” , “Go wait outside.”

:(

Anyhow, I saw Pn. Rose Chai and she told me that they already had three teachers in excess in school. I asked her several questions concerning teaching, thanked her and left. Somehow, I felt happy. In my previous post, I stated that it would be His will whether I get the job or not. Deep in my heart, I already knew that He was going to take me out of my comfort zone.

I went to the school’s koperasi to look for Pn. Ganes. Haha yeah guess what I asked her? The same question. =) “So teacher, why did you choose to teach?” So if you want her story, go ask her la k? Anyway, I shared with her about why I’m taking this career path and why I’m currently looking for a school that would accept me as a temporary teacher.

And guess what?

She called USJ12’s Penyelia Petang to ask if there’s vacancy for me!! Yeah oh my goodness lol. Anyway, this is completely out of my comfort zone. And, I’m ready. I want to put all my trust and totally surrender to Him. Yeap. And if you want to know what happens next, go check out USJ12 afternoon session by the end of January la k? xD

Well, I have no idea whether I’ll get the job. But all I know is that wherever I’m going right now, I’ll put my trust in the Lord.

Why I Chose To Teach
When I was young, my so-called dream was to be a Mathematics Teacher!! Why? Cause I was good in Maths. Haha. Yes that was the only reason. There were moments when I would stand in my room ( or toilet ) and “teach” the soft toys( or toilet wall ) while holding a pile of books(or the shower head as my “microphone” ).

However, as I grew up, I became very complicated. I started to think a lot. Think of all sorts of things la. Think of how people would judge me and how I would post a good impression on them. Hmm yeah. My desires of becoming a teacher faded away because I started to realize how scary it was to be in front of people. How people would judge you and how they would have all these negative thoughts in their heads if you just made one mistake. Peer pressure, low self-esteem, self-cautiousness, hmm yes probably.

So, my ambition diverted from being a teacher to a psychologist. Yeah the kind of psychology I’m picturing is the one-on-one kind? Psychology in Arts that is. Hm I realized that I was becoming very manipulative ( which is bad la duh ) as I spent more of my time thinking and analyzing.

I have to say, God has definitely given me the gift of popek-ing la. If you can call that a gift haha. For five years, I was so sure that I would be taking psychology. I was super determined. I even knew which college I was going to and how I would do the twinning program to America.( why America? Because it would be convenient for my parents since my sister’s studying there as well. And plenty of other reasons ) pss. I was Form 4

I planned everything out perfectly. Among my friends, I was the first to decide on my education after high school. Then, it was Career Day.( Form 5 ) The day when all the various colleges would come to school and set up their booths to promote the various courses they offered. I saw so many people rush to the booths of their interest. I don’t know but it hit me. I suddenly realized how self-centered and selfish we are. How we always think about what we want to do and what we like to do. During these moments, God didn’t seem to be of any significance to so many people.

Anyhow, I went around and scanned through everything I saw. After 4 months, most of my friends had already submitted their application letter to the various colleges of their interest. And now, I was one of the few among my friends who were undecided on what to do. ( ironic right? I was the first to decide back then )

My parents knew of my interest in doing psychology. We have a family friend by the name of Ivy. She took her Masters in Psychology in UK. Two weeks before her major exam, she suffered from spinal cord problems and had to go through quite a major operation. During her exam, she could not sit as it would affect her nerves. Though she did her exams standing, she graduated with First Class Honors. ( only 2 people in the whole university graduated with this )

Today, she’s married and working in UK. However, her job is completely unrelated to psychology. In UK, people would only want to employ their own people especially when it came to jobs that required communication skills. In M’sia, it’s near impossible to get a psychology related job. I mean, puh-lease la. If I told you that I was going to see a Psychologist, you would probably think I’ve gone kuku ( bonkers ) or something.

I had this list of doubts, questions and worries. Firstly, the psychology course is money and time consuming. Secondly, what if I ended up just like Ivy? I’ve read the psychology text book ( because my cousin used to take psychology as his minor ) and I disagree with a pot full of their principles. So, if I’m to grow up to be a psychologist, would I start applying these? Would I get too involved and engrossed in my job till the point where my job becomes bigger than my God? Would I become psycho because of my patient’s problems? ( ei seriously it has happened to tons of psychologists ) What if I had to work far far away from home? What if I don’t even get a job? pss. you’ve probably seen this somewhere in my blog because I’ve written this part before.

That week, I was not only undecided but confused and lost as well. I didn’t know what to do so I just prayed and submitted it to God. All I could ask for was really just directions.

Within that week, God used 4-5 people to speak to me. They all said the exact same sentence. Yes it was freaky and even when the first person said it, I was sure but extremely scared that it was God. “Ei Ann Ee, you should be a teacher or counselor la” ( yeah even the ‘la’ was included in all 4-5 people’s sentences. God sends messages to Malaysians using Malaysian style lol ) The first person who said it was my sister. And uh.. I know my sister doesn’t say this kinda stuff so I was very very shocked when she said it.

A day after the 5th person was done with his “……..”, it was time for CF. My very last official CF. Mr Jacob started sharing about how his ambition was to be a Hotel Manager. However, God closed all doors and showed MJ that He wanted him to teach. He said teaching was always last on his list but it was one of those things in life he was sure about. So, he took it and he surrendered it to God.

After 2 weeks or so, I went online and I happened to drop by Joshua’s blog. And he wrote this nice long entry about his experience in teaching at Lick Hung. ( click here ) Teaching!! I clicked on Rachel’s link through his blog and she too wrote this nice long entry about her experience in teaching at her Sunday School. ( click here ) I could only stare at my computer screen and say, “Okay God I know that’s you”.

My hands were very shaky by the time I walked back to my room. All I could think about was, “How am I going to achieve that?” I don’t know why but I started crying for some odd reason. And then, I called Pastor Gurmit. I told him everything that I went through and he said that when he prayed for me in camp, he already saw that in me. At that very moment, I thought about all the prophecies that had been said over me by various pastors and they all seem to fit the teaching role.

Pastor Gurmit, “English.”

I didn’t even ask him what subject he thought I should do!! I was planning to do Biology or Modern Mathematics. But again, my plans didn’t go the way I wanted it to.

So yeap. That’s why I’m teaching. What do I want to do? I want to do what God wants me to do. And that, will become what I want to do.

Isaiah 55:8-9
8 “For My thoughts are not your thoughts,
neither are your ways My ways,”
declares the LORD.

9 “As the heavens are higher than the earth,
so are My ways higher than your ways
and My thoughts than your thoughts.”