Fleeing The Scene.

My. Oh my. I’m blogging again. It’s been.. 1.. 2.. 3 years since I’ve last blog. Now, enough for record keeping.

I feel somewhat.. Stuck. I’m in the midst of society and I have my own quaint-like thoughts and nobody.. Just nobody seems to think like I do. The world is dying at it’s own pace. The clock is ticking. People in China and Myanmar are suffering.. It’s 7 months before I officially leave school. Nobody seems to care. Nobody’s trying to make a different. A change.

Everyone talks about making a difference. But what? Walk your talk. Being different isn’t as simple as making a statement. It’s about being different all together. Going against the flow. Stepping out of your little comfort zone. Thinking the odds. Doing the odds.

No.1 Yes. We should step up to ourselves and other people. To sum up the little courage we have beneath us. Bring people to Church. CF. Share about God. But I want to ask you, why are you doing all these? For the sake of duty? For the sake of making a change? For the overwhelming outcome and joy you would experience later? No. Yes, it is true we should do it as it is our duty etc etc bla bla. However, it starts with love. It starts with God. Revolution comes within ourselves. We share for God. We share for love. We share out of love. You want everyone ( you love ) to experience what you’ve went through out of love. Duty should come from love. Making a change should come from love. So should joy.

No.2 Obstacles. Run.. Hide.. Avoid. Let me ask you. If you ran from the Devil, would he just sit there.. And allow you to run? Without chasing you? Sadly, no. He isn’t very nice you see. As much as you can run, as fast as you can run, they will always come back and catch up with you.

Story time.

There was once when I was Form 1 and I created a whole lot of problems in my school. I truly felt that it was the end of me. This was the end of my Secondary life. It was going to end like how my Primary did. Dead and insignificant. So I thought to myself, why don’t I transfer myself to another school? I have friends in USJ12.. Besides, Kit Yin’s kinda lonely. Wouldn’t be that bad if I just went there. Oh and how coincidental. I was doing so badly in my exams my mum was thinking of transferring me to another school for a “better environment”.

So I proposed my idea of “escape” to my sister, Cia Ee. I told her it was too late for me to buck up on my studies. I only had like 2 weeks left? And my social standing was pretty much ruined anyway. And she said, “If you face problems here, in smksu, wouldn’t you pretty much face them too if you went there?” I was like woah. Yeah. I’m running. From my own problems. From the problems I’ve created. I studied with the little time I had, cleared off all the misunderstandings and crosswords puzzles I’ve created in my school and guess what? I got number 8 in class. I wasn’t transfered to another school, my mum was happy and so was I.

This had made me stronger and from that day onwards, I told myself I would never run away from my problems. So shouldn’t you.

Obstacles are meant to make you stronger. Friends are meant to be stepping stones to help you climb up higher. Yeah yeah don’t give me the “my life sucks and I ****ing @#$#%& toooooooot” You know, if I could, I would tell you.. HEY MY LIFE WAS A WHOLE LOT OF IT’S OWN TINY HELL SO KEEP YOUR THOUGHTS TO YOURSELF AND JUST BUZZ OFF AND ALLOW ME TO CONTINUE SULKING LIKE AN EMOTASTIC PERSON.

For those who know what I’ve went through, I have to say.. I have no regrets in my life. There are many “I could have” or “I should have” but hey, all these roller coasters have made me who I am today and I’m proud of it. So, stop running. Stand up to your obstacles. You have God. Look at yourself in the mirror. No you do not see a pimple. If God could make that ( you, not the pimple ) , he could do anything. So with God, you can overcome your problems. So quit running. Quit avoiding. Quit telling me you don’t want to be reminded so you won’t get tempted. Overcome them. Do the odds.

Feeling detached,

Ann Ee

~ by caedda on May 16, 2008.