Faithfulness Bear Fruits

Revolution Conference (June 4th-6th)
Woah. It’s been *insert something indescribable* for the past few days. It wasn’t just any altar call, it wasn’t just another emotional moment but really, it was God showing up. I’ve been blessed beyond words : with the most wonderful Church members, imperfect (because we’re all humans ma hor?) leaders who mean the best for me (I couldn’t ask for anything better. =) ) and above all, the love of my Lord Jesus.

Before I stood up to answer to the altar call initiated by Pr. Sam, I felt my conscience (there’s no good conscience without the Holy Spirit) say to me,

“Is this gonna be just like those altar call?”
“Where you feel an emotional encounter with God which dies off after a few days?”
“Will you still stand up and kneel before God if your mum was beside you?”

And I think, yes. I would. Just as Boon Wei has said, there’s nothing bigger than my God. Nothing.

While I was there, questions started pouring in again.

“If you really still be kneeling here if your classmates were before you?”
“Will you still continue to sit in class and tolerate your classmates or turn around to tell them that what they are doing is displeasing in the eyes of God?”
“Are you going to be driven by the consequences you face? Or rather, driven just because you love God and them so much?”
“How big is your God? Bigger than your insecurities?”
“Are you going to live ‘faithful’ to God and yet, keep those habits?”

I had enough of living in fear. And that Friday, was really the day I gave my life to Jesus. My life just wasn’t mine anymore.

This wasn’t just the usual ‘touch n go’ conference. It was one where I believe, the whole Church just had one thought, one purpose (1 Corinthians 1:10) and that is to live a life not by ourselves but by God. To do something radical not by our own strength and wisdom but with God’s Spirit (Zechariah 4:6).

Sunday (7th June)
Elder Kien Yiak was sharing this message from the passage of 2 Samuel 13. It was about how Amnon, son of King David, forced his blood sister, Tamar to bed with him. He seek the advice of his friend Jonadab which suggested for Amnon to lie in bed sick while he(Amnon) ate of of Tamor’s hand. Now here are a few facts that will get you scratching your head (just like how I did).

Amnon’s name means ‘faithful’
Jonadab’s name means ‘wise’

Firstly, Amnon didn’t deal with this lustful desire of his. And in time, his faithfulness turned into tiredness. If we don’t deal with the issues in our life, we become tired and begin to dwell in the pursuits/desires of the flesh. Just like how Amnon, didn’t deal with this issue in his life.

Amnon, instead of going to King David for advice, went to Jonadab for advice. Just like how we seek men’s wisdom (yes now we know why he’s named ‘wise’), instead of God. Why? Because we want to hear the answers we want to hear. Elder told us that whoever you open up your life to has a big impact on you. Yes because of the advice they may give you but also because of the very fact that you chose to open up(entrust) that person with whatsoever.

You know sometimes, I get tired so easily. Not because I’ve ran 84km, did any bungee-jumping or had an average of 135 minutes of sleep a day. But simply because I never deal with that part of my life. And whenever I think about ‘getting out of it’, I feel so ‘tired’ because I am thinking about how I would overcome it with my strength. Then Elder went on saying, “You think you can manage your sins? You think you can allow that one part of your life to be the way it is? But fact is, that area of your life will continue to come back and haunt you.”

And that’s so true. I realized that I’ve always had this issue that I’ve never dealt with for 12 years. And there are days where I don’t ‘do this thing’(no it’s nothing to do with porn) and think that I’ve finally overcame it. But really, I haven’t dealt with it yet! I may have forgotten it but I didn’t go through the process of getting rid of it. For example, you can dream about exercise. But nothing really happens until you actually do it. There’s more beyond listening to the message. There’s applying it. Let’s not look at other people’s problems anymore. But really at ourselves.

What we fail to deal with will overthrow us in life sooner or later. Example, after the exams, you might feel the sense of urgency and zeal to study and to think of it, these are pure emotions. Sooner or later, we’ll slack back into laziness. Because we cannot rely on emotions. Let’s offer ourselves to God. Your thoughts, our emotions, our body. Everything.

Romans 12:1-3
1 Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God—this is your spiritual act of worship. 2 Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.

3 For by the grace given me I say to every one of you: Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the measure of faith God has given you.

It’s an irony how King David got angry when he found out about Amnon and Tamar but he never did anything about it. He just stayed angry. He did not deal with the things closest to his heart (family). And many times, we don’t deal with things that are close to our hearts. I believe that when there’s a real God, there’s also a real devil. So, yeah I’m sure you get what I mean. =)

I really felt God speak directly to me on Sunday and I don’t wanna rely on me anymore. Because I’m just all the strength I have. But today, I wanna live and commit everything to the Lord. I know it won’t be easy, (if it is it won’t be called a challenge)I know that the way to eternity is narrow but let’s do it.

Monday (8th June)
Today in prayer meeting, I shared about what Deacon David shared during the breakout session. About how it is biblical to be radical. Six people turned up for prayer and I was just reminded by what Pastor Andy said. If 100 people turned up, it would have been a testimonial. But there are those days when you’re alone or with one or two other people and this is when God wants to know if we’ll still go on and I believe that this, is then really a testimonial. We praise God for quantity. We praise God even more for quality because where there is quality, there is quantity (in time).

I’ve never been so calm while sharing and I really thank God for that because pastor has been declaring boldness over my life. I felt that the people’s heart just stirred even as God spoke through me and that truly awesome. Prayer meeting went on till 8.10am and yes classes have started. When I went back to class, my Legal Studies lecturer, Mr David was there already. I felt, somehow, that it was God’s will that I was late.

Mr David, “Ann Ee? Where were you?”

Me, *whispering to myself* “Prayer meeting..”

Him, “Pre.. What?”

Me, “Prayer meeting.” ><

Him, “What? Can you speak louder?” YES I WAS SO SCARED.

Me, “Prayer meeting!” (I think it came out in a squeak or something)

Him, “Oh there’s prayer meeting? Wow. Where?”

And wow he sounded like he wants to come. And he didn’t scold me for coming in late! And all my results came in today and I was again amazed by God. My results were better than expected and I was really encouraged by my teachers. My Accounts teacher told me that she tried her best to give me as many marks as possible and this nearly moved me to tears because she used to scold the class everyday. My English teacher wrote on my paper, “Incomplete but well written” and I honestly thought that I did reaaaalllly badly and she told me not to be discouraged. And lol my Math teacher hahaha. He so funny la. “Ann Ee! What happened?” Eek yeah I need to work harder! My results weren’t good but really, God came again.

God has answered two very personal prayers of mine today! I wasn’t expecting it at all and I really wanna give all the glory to God for it.

Currently, the CF has a guitar and two singers during worship. During my break, I was at ECA (Student Centre) with Daniel Shin and suddenly, I just asked him whether he played the drums. AND COME TO THINK OF IT. We DO have a drum set sitting in Darren Lau’s house. So, there will be drums this week in CF! And then Joshua Song suddenly remembered that there’s a piano at The Hub and tomorrow, he’ll be getting permission through JK from Elder if we can borrow it for CF! Wow this has never happened before.

Almost 10 of my classmates and 2 of my lecturers are coming for CF this week! This is just crazy cause it’s normally just 3 of us and wow. Also, Albert Ling will be sharing in prayer meeting this Wednesday and Ronson next Wednesday! Praise the Lord! Pastor Andy will be speaking in CF this Friday as well!!

Shaun and I have finally found a way to publicize the CF! In student portal, they have all the students email addresses there so nyahaha. =D

Although there are so much to rejoice about now, I’m reminded of what Bill Clinton said years ago. In time of peace, prepare for war. Because in these times, the devil will want to drag everything down. So yeah let’s put on the armor of Christ and stand firm!

~ by caedda on June 8, 2009.